The Art of Giving Feedback: Tailoring Your Approach for Different Roles

Giving effective feedback is an essential skill in all areas of life, whether you’re guiding a child, managing a team, or collaborating with peers. Feedback, when delivered thoughtfully, can inspire growth, strengthen relationships, and enhance performance. However, the approach can vary significantly depending on the role you’re in. Below, we explore how to best give feedback as a parent, a boss, and a colleague.

As a Parent: Nurturing and Supportive

Giving feedback as a parent involves a delicate balance of encouragement, guidance, and correction. The goal is to foster self-esteem and a love for learning, rather than fear of failure.

  • Focus on Effort: Emphasize the effort rather than the outcome. Applauding hard work, regardless of the result, encourages a growth mindset.
  • Be Specific: Instead of vague praise or criticism, be specific about what your child did well or what they can improve on. For example, “I noticed you shared your toys with your sister today—that was very kind.”
  • Offer Constructive Criticism: Frame suggestions for improvement in a positive light. For instance, “What if you try organizing your tasks like this next time? It might help you remember better.”
  • Listen and Empathize: Make it a two-way conversation. Allow your child to express their thoughts and feelings about the feedback, showing understanding and empathy.

As a Boss: Clear and Motivating

When you’re in a leadership role, feedback is crucial for directing and motivating your team. Effective feedback as a boss should be ongoing, not just reserved for annual reviews.

  • Set Clear Expectations: Clear expectations can prevent many issues. Make sure your team knows what success looks like from the start.
  • Regular and Timely: Offer feedback regularly and soon after the relevant event or behavior, to make it more relevant and actionable.
  • Balance Positive and Constructive Feedback: Ensure there’s a good balance of positive reinforcement and constructive feedback. Celebrate successes openly but also discuss areas for improvement in a manner that shows you have confidence in their abilities to improve.
  • Promote a Dialogue: Encourage employees to respond to your feedback. This can lead to mutual understanding and more personal development.

As a Colleague: Respectful and Collaborative

Giving feedback to peers can be tricky as it requires maintaining a respectful and supportive relationship while being honest.

  • Ask Permission: Before offering feedback, ask if they’re open to it. This sets a respectful tone and shows that you value their autonomy.
  • Be Constructive and Specific: Focus on specific behaviors and suggest actionable ways to improve. Avoid making it personal.
  • Use “I” Statements: To keep feedback non-confrontational, use statements like “I noticed” or “I feel” to express your perspective without assigning blame.
  • Follow Up: After giving feedback, check in to see if your colleague found it useful or needs further clarification.


In every role you occupy, feedback is a powerful tool for fostering better relationships and encouraging positive development. By tailoring your approach to fit your role—parent, boss, or colleague—you can ensure your feedback is effective and well-received. Remember, the key to great feedback is empathy, clarity, and encouragement. Aim to make your feedback a helpful guide, not just a critique.

How to Master the Art of Consistency – Leadership Lessons

The Topic was taken from


Consistency is often the underdog of leadership qualities. While traits like vision and charisma get the spotlight, consistency is quietly working in the background, making everything possible. In leadership, consistency isn’t just a virtue but a necessity. This blog post aims to explore the importance of consistency in leadership and provide actionable steps to master it.

Table of Contents

  1. Why Consistency Matters in Leadership
  2. The Pillars of Consistency
  3. How to Build Consistency
  4. Challenges in Maintaining Consistency
  5. Case Studies: Leaders Who Excelled Through Consistency
  6. Conclusion

Why Consistency Matters in Leadership

Builds Trust

Consistency is the cornerstone of trust. Team members are more likely to trust a leader who is predictable and reliable.

Enhances Credibility

A consistent leader gains credibility, not just among team members but also stakeholders and clients.

Fosters Accountability

When a leader is consistent in their actions and expectations, it sets a standard that encourages everyone else to be accountable for their roles.

The Pillars of Consistency


Consistency starts with being true to your word. If you promise something, make sure to deliver.


Discipline is the fuel that keeps the engine of consistency running.


While it may seem counterintuitive, being adaptable is crucial for consistency. Conditions change, and a consistent leader knows how to adapt without compromising their core principles.

How to Build Consistency

Set Clear Expectations

Clearly outline what you expect from your team and what they can expect from you.

Develop Routine

A well-thought-out routine can be a powerful tool for maintaining consistency.

Measure and Monitor

Regularly check your performance metrics to ensure you are staying on the path of consistency.

Challenges in Maintaining Consistency


The biggest enemy of consistency is complacency. Never let success make you lax in your commitment to consistency.

External Pressures

Sometimes external circumstances can make it challenging to maintain consistency. The key is to remain steadfast.

Case Studies: Leaders Who Excelled Through Consistency

  1. Steve Jobs: His consistent focus on innovation led Apple to new heights.
  2. Warren Buffet: Known for his consistent investment strategies, which have paid off in the long run.


Mastering the art of consistency is not an overnight task. It requires dedication, discipline, and a commitment to continuous improvement. However, the rewards are well worth the effort, as consistency is the key to becoming a leader who not only inspires but also delivers.

5 Fundamentals of Leadership – Leadership Development

5 Fundamentals of Leadership Largely taken from

Simon Sinek delves into the contrasting philosophies of finite and infinite games in the realm of leadership. He argues that to excel in the infinite game of leadership, one must concentrate on five core principles:

  1. A Just Cause: A compelling purpose that motivates individuals to willingly make sacrifices.
  2. Trusting Teams: Cultivating a culture where team members feel secure and empowered, thereby encouraging innovation and teamwork.
  3. A Worthy Rival: Having a competitor that helps you identify your shortcomings and pushes you to improve.
  4. Existential Flexibility: The ability to make significant changes in strategy to further a cause, even if it disrupts current success.
  5. Courage to Lead: The bravery to challenge traditional leadership norms, focusing on long-term gains and the well-being of others.

By adopting an infinite mindset, leaders can create a lasting, positive impact that goes beyond their own lifetime.

Change your future

5 Transformative Lessons from Simon Sinek to Change Your Future

Here are five lessons that stand out:

Lesson One: Forge Your Own Path, But Let Others Do the Same

The Road Less Travelled

Sinek emphasizes that you are free to chase your dreams and ambitions, but this freedom should extend to everyone else. In a world that often follows the beaten path, daring to take the road less travelled can be liberating.

The Balance of Individualism and Community

While it’s essential to focus on your goals, it’s equally crucial to respect others’ journeys. This balance creates a harmonious community where everyone can thrive.

Lesson Two: Own Your Actions, Both Good and Bad

The Double-Edged Sword of Responsibility

Taking credit for your achievements is easy; owning up to your mistakes is the real challenge. Sinek advises that true leadership involves taking responsibility for both.

The Growth in Accountability

When you hold yourself accountable, you not only earn the respect of those around you but also pave the way for personal growth and improvement.

Lesson Three: Be a “Lead Worrier” by Supporting Those Around You

The Essence of Leadership

According to Sinek, a true leader worries about their team. Leadership is not about being in charge but about taking care of those in your charge.

The Power of Collective Success

When you focus on helping the person to your left and the person to your right, you create a supportive environment that fosters collective success.

Lesson Four: Listen Before You Act

The Value of Being Heard

Sinek points out that allowing others to speak before you do gives them a sense of being heard, which is empowering and fosters a collaborative spirit.

The Wisdom in Listening

By being the last to speak, you also benefit from hearing multiple perspectives, which can lead to better decision-making.

Lesson Five: Position vs. Person

The Illusion of Importance

As you climb the ladder of success, people will treat you differently. Sinek cautions that this newfound respect is for your position, not for you as a person.

The Humility in Leadership

Being grateful for the accolades and respect that come your way is important, but remembering that these are not a reflection of your worth as a person is crucial for grounded leadership.

Why Leaders should eat last

Table of Contents


The Video and book of the same title explores the concept of effective leadership, emphasizing that great leaders create an environment based on trust and collaboration, where team members feel safe and valued.

Key Points:

  1. Circle of Safety: Sinek introduces the idea that effective leaders create a ‘Circle of Safety’ where employees feel protected and are thus more willing to collaborate and innovate.
  2. Chemical Incentives: The book discusses biological factors like endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, explaining how they contribute to feelings of happiness and safety, or stress and self-interest, in the workplace.
  3. Empathy and Trust: Good leaders prioritize the well-being of their team over numbers or results. This fosters trust and a strong sense of community, which ultimately benefits the organization.
  4. Long-term vs Short-term: Sinek warns against short-term thinking, like prioritizing quarterly results over long-term well-being. Such an approach can break the ‘Circle of Safety’ and negatively impact employee morale.
  5. The Role of Leaders: A good leader is willing to sacrifice their own interests to protect and benefit those under their care. Hence, “Leaders Eat Last.”
  6. Organizational Culture: A strong culture is one where everyone feels like they belong, which leads to increased productivity and job satisfaction.
  7. Adapt and Overcome: Great leaders are those who can adapt to new challenges while keeping the ‘Circle of Safety’ intact. They’re not resistant to change but approach it in a way that minimizes danger to their team.
  8. Think of being a manager as being a parent,look after your people , lead by listening , help people grow and develop , support, protect and prioritize people

In summary, the book argues that exceptional leadership is about creating a culture of trust and safety, which results in more successful, engaged, and happy team members. This is achieved through a long-term focus, empathy, and a willingness to place the needs of the team before one’s own, epitomized by the phrase “Leaders Eat Last.”

Circle of Safety

This is a powerful image of the Circle of safety

The One-Minute Manager

Largely taken from the book of the same title.

Table of Contents

One Minute Manager

  • If a problem exists without a solution, it’s just a complaint
  • The Number 1 motivator is feedback on results
  • Don’t let annoyances build address early to stop it building
  • Build people up don’t tear them down
  • Be tougher then supportive (not the other way around)
  • Create a team of partners

One Minute Praising

  • Praise people as soon as possible & be specific with that praise
  • Tell people how good you feel about it and how it helps (give them context)
  • Pause so people can absorb what you have said
  • Encourage them to do more of the same
  • Make it clear you have confidence in them and support their success

One minute redirect (if a mistake or improvement is needed)

  • Re-direct as soon as possible
  • Confirm the facts and review the issue – be specific
  • Express how you feel and what the impact is
  • Pause and give time for reflection
  • Let them know they are better than their mistake and that you think well of them as a person
  • Remind them that you have confidence and trust in them
  • Realize when the re-redirect is over

What makes a Great Manager?

Taken from

Table of Contents

Interestingly, when i created this page i started by calling it “Good Managers” but i like the term “Great Managers” better.

Borrowing an Abbreviation from one of my Managers and adding my own twist.

V.V.P.S.T ( Visible, Vocal , Positive, Safe and Trusted)

Be Visible

Be Vocal

Be Positive

Make people feel Safe and Trusted (see the above You Tube Video by Simon Sinek)

A few Additions i have learnt along the way

small things – give people recognition tell them well done, sometimes small things can be very powerful one that sticks in my mind was turning up to shift work on Xmas Eve on my own covering 3 datacenters and monitoring 100 of computer systems to find by boss had left be a 2£ Xmas selection box

really listen and take an interest in people

understand what makes different people tick.

don’t let other people pass their problem on their back to you, empower colleagues to make their own decisions.

Other Reading

See all the other posts in the management category.