The subtle art of not giving a fuck

Table of Contents


Is a self-help book that challenges conventional self-help advice. Rather than promoting endless positivity and goal-chasing, Manson argues that life is limited and involves struggle, and we should be careful about what we devote our energy and concern to.

Key Points

  1. Not All Problems Are Equal: Manson suggests that life is about solving problems, and the quality of our life depends on the quality of problems we choose to solve.
  2. Choose What to Give a F*ck About: Manson argues that you have a finite amount of things you can care about, so choose them wisely. Focusing on trivial matters will only drain you.
  3. Take Responsibility: While you can’t control everything that happens to you, you can control your reactions. Ownership of your choices and their outcomes is key to dealing with life’s challenges.
  4. Embrace Uncertainty: It’s okay to admit you don’t have all the answers. Manson argues that the pursuit of certainty leads to an obsession with what others think and creates a life of constant performance.
  5. The Importance of Being Wrong: Being wrong and learning from it is a stepping stone to ultimate success and self-awareness. Manson encourages embracing failures as learning experiences.
  6. The Value of Suffering: Manson introduces the concept of “Pain Tolerance” in achieving worthwhile goals. Essentially, some suffering is inevitable and necessary for growth and satisfaction.
  7. Death as Motivation: One of the most sobering chapters deals with mortality, urging readers to consider their limited time on Earth as a motivator to focus on what truly matters.


In summary, the book advocates for a more thoughtful approach to life’s challenges, urging the reader to be selective in what they care about and focus on struggles that have meaning and are genuinely worth the effort.

Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or values. In essence, it’s a form of cognitive bias that influences you to “see” what you want to see and ignore data or facts that contradict your existing opinions or feelings.

In the workplace, confirmation bias can have several important implications:

  1. Decision-Making: It can negatively affect decision-making processes by limiting the information considered and reinforcing pre-existing beliefs, which can be particularly harmful in strategic or financial planning.
  2. Team Dynamics: Confirmation bias may hinder diversity of thought, potentially leading to groupthink, where people don’t challenge each other’s ideas. This is especially detrimental in teams where a variety of perspectives is essential for success.
  3. Employee Evaluation: When evaluating performance, managers may focus on evidence that confirms their existing opinion about an employee, either good or bad, rather than assessing all available information.
  4. Innovation: New ideas may be dismissed or not given fair consideration if they don’t align with existing beliefs or norms, stifling creativity and innovation.
  5. Communication: Confirmation bias can lead to misunderstandings or ineffective communication, as employees may only hear what they want to hear or interpret messages in a way that confirms their existing viewpoints.

Being aware of confirmation bias can help mitigate these issues, leading to better decision-making, improved team dynamics, and a more inclusive work environment. Steps can be taken to counteract this bias, such as promoting diversity of thought, encouraging open discussions, and implementing checks and balances in decision-making processes.

Interesting related reading:



Adding mindfulness practices to your personal well-being toolkit can help you feel your best at home and at work. When you feel your best, your self-efficacy improves, your performance improves, and your desire to learn and grow improves too. 

What is mindfulness? 

Mindfulness is the act of being fully present and aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without judgement.

3 tips to incorporate mindfulness practices into your day

  1. Pay attention: It can feel hard to slow down and notice things—how they look, sound, feel, smell, or taste. Try to take a few minutes each day to consciously notice your surroundings. If you’re outside, try to experience the environment with each of your senses. If you’re eating, purposely pay attention to the aroma and taste, allowing you to truly savor the meal.
  2. Practice breathing: How often do you think about your breathing? If you feel negative thoughts or feelings coming on, calm your mind and simply focus on your breathing. Inhale for a count of 4. Hold that breath for the same count of 4; exhale for 4 counts, and finally, hold that breath for 4 counts.
  3. Accept yourself: Treat yourself as you would a valued friend—be aware of your needs, wants, challenges, and triumphs each day. Celebrate your successes and learn from the negative. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a loved one.

Alan Quinlan – My Story; Anxiety & Depression

A fascinating, powerful, open and honest from a former sport star on the journey of mental health with an in house talk so no links i am afraid..

Embarking on a journey to better mental health requires a toolkit of strategies, from embracing vulnerability and proactive habits to managing stress and nurturing self-compassion—let’s unpack what i learnt.

In a world that often pressures us to display an air of invincibility, embracing and expressing our true mental state can be revolutionary. Sharing our fears, worries, and pains with others not only fosters a culture of openness but also lightens the burden that often accompanies mental health struggles. It’s essential to cultivate a habit of managing our mental health actively, making it an integral part of our daily routine. This proactive approach ensures that a single negative occurrence doesn’t cascade into a series of detrimental thoughts, helping maintain a balanced mental state.

One aspect that often gets overshadowed in our busy lives is the importance of sleep. Prioritizing a restful sleep is fundamental for rejuvenating our mind and body, equipping us with the energy to face life’s challenges head-on. Similarly, maintaining a nutritious diet plays a pivotal role in our overall well-being. A balanced diet not only fortifies our physical health but also contributes to a positive mental state. Alongside, it’s vital to harbor positivity and optimism, as these are the cornerstones of a resilient mind.

Equipping ourselves with a repertoire of coping skills can be a game-changer when dealing with emotional or mental adversities. This, coupled with a shift in perspective to see the silver lining even in challenging situations, fosters a resilient mindset. Regular exercise is another pillar supporting both our mental and physical health, serving as an outlet to channel stress and maintain a healthy body.

Authenticity is empowering. Living a life unmasked, not hidden behind a facade, promotes mental peace and acceptance. Creating a robust support network is equally crucial, as having reliable individuals who understand and support you can be a sanctuary in tough times. Additionally, mastering effective stress-management techniques and avoiding the pitfall of societal judgment allows for a more centered focus on personal well-being.

Life is a blend of triumphs and failures, and accepting this fact makes the journey less daunting. A kind approach towards oneself and others makes the path meaningful and less lonely. Encouraging open communication about feelings within familial structures nurtures a supportive environment. It’s also wise to steer clear of unhealthy social comparisons, which often serve as a breeding ground for negativity.

In a digital age, knowing when to unplug and take breaks is essential for mental rejuvenation. Focusing on the aspects of life we have control over, rather than fretting over the uncontrollable, lays the foundation for a peaceful mind. Embracing life with its highs and lows, and being willing to experiment with new coping strategies, fosters a deeper understanding of oneself. Practicing mindfulness techniques can further augment our journey towards achieving inner peace, making life a more enjoyable and less stressful experience.